Man Weds Pregnant 14-Year-Old, Is Charged With Rape
OK read this and then tell me what you think. This is going to be an interesting discussion, so jump in.
posted by Raging Bull at 2:56 PM
Thursday, September 22, 2005
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11 Comments:
Oh, we've all been talking about this over on iVillage. LOL
Personally, I feel that you shouldn't be allowed to marry someone if you've been charged with raping them.
I also believe that if you are allowed to marry someone "underage", you should not be able to be charged with Statutory Rape (of them). Regular rape, fine "because 'no' means 'no'."
This is a tricky situation because she gave consent. It's the age-old problem of assigning a certain age (18 to be of majority, 21 to drink in the U.S.) to do things. Obviously there are people who are "mature beyond their years" and are able to nake responsible decisions. Then there are those that are really immature and, even YEARS after they are "old enough" to do something, are nowhere near "able" to make the mature decision.
Too bad there isn't just some test for people to take for things like this. That would be fair, although completely impossible.
Sue. =)
Where do I begin?
12 years old is simply not old enough to start dating anyone, let alone someone eight years older. You don’t have any life experience to know what the consequences are. I worry about the mental health of the 20-year-old who even considers sleeping with someone so young. She was still a child, and her ability to know right from wrong is still being developed.
It also concerns me that she hid her pregnancy as long as she did. It makes me wonder what she was planning on doing with the baby once she had it. It’s possible she didn’t know what to do and would have eventually done something drastic, putting her life and that of her child’s life in danger. And, what about him? What were his intentions? Does he love her? Or is he putting on an act because he got caught?
I do think he should go to jail. But, he now has a family to worry about and he has to take care of the baby while his wife attends her freshman year of high school. I won’t say that her future is ruined; she can still get an education if she tries hard enough, but having a baby to take care of while attempting to get that education will be extremely hard. There’s no guarantee that her “husband” will be there for her. He may very well be in jail.
And what about the child’s future? Has anyone considered that? What kind of a family will they end up being?
I feel that they were both extremely selfish, irresponsible, and naïve.
This is no way to start a family.
OK I think we can all agree they were selfish and irresponsible (although I think that's perfectly justified in a 12 year old). The real question here is, does he go to jail or does he stay out of jail to 'care' for his family?
Jules?
Once upon a time a female was considered to be an "old maid", "unmarryinable" and a "burden" if her family had not managed to wed her off by the time she was 14 or 15...
Why were those females considered to be "ready" or "mature enough" for marriage and now, in 2005 with so many more resources at our disposal, they are considered to be "too immature" and "not ready"?
Honestly I find it depressing that we baby and coddle our kids so much that they don't mature as quickly, if ever truly at all.
I would think that the fact that women (no, GIRLS) are no longer considered a "burden" if unmarried by 15 would be a good thing. Do you contend that this girl (whom we admittedly know little about) is mature enough? Is a 12, 13 or 14 year old capable of making responsible decisions about marriage and children?
Reading your post, I presume you think they should be allowed to live together in wedded bliss, and he should be spared his jail time?
How we married off our daughters a century ago is not the issue. Times were different then and we expected different things from our children at that time. Parents expected to marry their girls off young and prepared them for that eventuality. They did the same for boys. And, this girl was not fourteen when she started dating this guy; she was twelve. There is a big difference there. And, I don’t think we are “coddling” or children.
I think the husband should go to jail. I also think he should get some counseling. It seems to me he’s having a slight problem with reality and what his actions mean to himself and to those he’s involved with. He screwed up this girls life without regard to what it means for her. And, he should pay the price for that. However, he needs to support his new family, so a reduced sentence will probably be what happens here. There are no perfect answers here, but that is my opinion.
No, I was just musing about a couple of things; the irony of the changed times, and that it's a shame how immature teens are today.
If they were as mature today as they were "back in the day" we probably wouldn't have to be dealing with teenage pregnancies, etc because they'd know better.
It is definitely good that teens are not considered a burden in the way that they were any more, although I'm sure some people would tell you that teens have become a different type of burden. LOL
I think that reduced jailtime followed by house arrest are probably a good thing. And maybe a trip to see Dr. Phil. (I love him.) If they send him to counseling, hopefully they make him understand how inappropriate it was, but make sure that he becomes a good husband/father too. Marriage and having children is hard enough without having to deal with these other issues too.
Ok.... This was fun. I agree that he should go to jail, and I think a long sentence is just fine. This poor girl was 12, and there is no way in my mind that she could have possibly stood up to a man 8 years her senior. I'm sure she wants to be with him now, (she's got a baby to raise!) and that he has convinced her he is a good man for her; but he's not.
The bottom line is that he is a predator, and in twelve (or less) years his child will be at risk... from him. She has been taken advantage of, and her parents were fools to think that "well, what's done is done, we ought to let them get married." Usually when an adult molests a child in this country we bar contact, not encourage it.
If she didn't want to get married, would we be OK with all this? Of course not. Agreeing to marry the child you molested is not nobel, it's oppotunistic!
So that's what I think so far...
I totally agree. What kind of a person puts someone they are suppose to love and care about (at least, that's his story) in this kind of a situation? And, what will their lives be like? Not only do they have to deal with the issue of him basically raping her, but the resentment from all sides that is sure to come out in the years to come.
And as for this family being on Dr. Phil, I would say he's a hack, except that he seems to be right most of the time. It's very annoying. No doubt the girl and her family have some things to work out. Namely, with her coming to terms with being a mother at such a young age.
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